I surprised myself. I ran my first 10K race and changed my eating habits completely. I took a look at my commuting choices and made drastic changes. Cutting back on non-essentials, I curtailed my spending to reduce debt. I faced more than one serious illness and took charge of my health.
But there were also failures and I suffered the consequences. I still am.
Joyfully, I realized I was capable of trusting someone again. Despite the raised eyebrows, I jumped headlong into uncharted territory. While trying to navigate, I’ve been forced to face my insecurities, dismantle some comfortable defences and reexamine long held biases. With a little help, of course.
Along the way, I’ve had to let some things and some people go. These may be permanent — or not. This next year will be the test.
I’ve made enemies. I’ve no doubt of that. But I’m not as afraid of this as I once would have been. In the pursuit of purpose and meaning, there will always be those who are working at cross-purposes. It’s sadly, unavoidable.
At the same time, I’ve had to work hard to keep some very important people close. That struggle continues. My dearest loved ones have had terrible pain inflicted. Others have experienced the heartbreak of loss and I have been helpless to stop all of it. The raw anger of these injustices has threatened to consume me on several occasions.
There were unexpected tragedies and at times, I felt I would be left behind. But then, out of those tragedies came incredible opportunities to rebuild. So much inspiration out of so much devastation.
It’s just that there is no one way to get through. By letting go and holding on — by giving in and standing firm — by joining up and standing back — you find your way. Or I found my way.
Let’s go 2014. I can hardly wait to see what happens next.
Happy New Year, everyone.